Mood

Sunset in San Diego

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep. So many things were running amok in my head. Really unnecessary thoughts that occupied my mind and would not let go. Usually they pop up more often on a Sunday night, making me feel groggy at work on Mondays. Some examples:

1. How will I respond to the plumber? Story is, the neighbors upstairs had another water leak (this is the third since October) and the damage is in my ceiling. This time it is the laundry room because their washing machine had some kind of defect. They are calling in a restoration plumbing company to
evaluate and fix my ceiling. But I do not have time this week with meetings at work, a trip out of town starting Friday and other appointments. And I know how much work this will entail as it is the sixth or seventh water damage in our condo. Cutting up walls, fans running to dry them, restoring with new sheets
of drywall and then repainting. We have been through this so many times and it is not fun. (I want to cry just thinking about it)
My thoughts were running around the different scenarios how to respond to the company with my schedule.

2. My daughter's wedding. Although she is the one planning out all the details, I am the one worrying about them.

3. Retirement - there is much to think about it as it is coming up for my husband.

Since my daughter has moved out, it is the first time in my 61 years that I am living on my own. Maybe I have too much time on my hands. I actually love it. I have so many projects and I have been working on each one a little bit. - Until Sunday, where I just stopped being motivated to do anything but sit on the couch and think.

Isn't it a coincidence that two different blogs which I follow wrote today, on Monday, about picking yourself up and starting those positive rituals again? Well, I am taking their advice. Both say that the number one priority is: Taking care of yourself first. That is probably the whole issue. I have been taking care of everyone around me for so long, that I did not notice I have been neglecting myself. (Please do not say this is a sign of empty-nest-syndrome. I couldn't be happier that kids have finally moved out). It is time for ME, time to be selfish. Lists are popping up in my head already on how to embrace this change.

First of all, I will give the plumber my schedule and he can work around it. Too bad that I am not available.
Second, it is not my wedding. I will just show up.
Third, retirement is around the corner but not knocking on our door, there is time to plan and we should take this opportunity to dream about new beginnings.
Hell, I feel better already.

Rainbow over our complex