Resilience

You know that urge to knit whenever and wherever possible? I am carrying this project with me everywhere, my Needful Yarn Summer Top.
I really want to finish it before the summer is over. I like the yarn, cotton of course, my favorite, and I like the pattern. The bottom border lace pattern is about 5 inches, really easy and pretty, and now I have reached the body which is simple stockinette. However, I will need to alter the front neckline. Let’s see how I do when I get there. The mindless knitting of the body is a great project to carry everywhere. So far I have been knitting during lunch, in traffic to work and back home, sometimes I just want to grab the needles and knit under my desk. I can’t wait to get home and sit down after dinner (if it were up to me, I would skip dinner). One of those projects.

A news article about RESILIENCE caught my eye today. ‘Learning to Recover’ - it states that resilience is an ‘emotional muscle that can grow with use and practice’. Some of us may already have some characteristics that help to strengthen resilience, like optimism, or a kind of temperament that deals better with stress or courage… etc.

Suggestions on how to develop resilience are: - think of yourself as a problem solver, challenge yourself, summon up images of a hero, push yourself physically and teach yourself patience….

This last point is so ME:

‘Teach yourself patience. Resilience requires being more strategic and less impulsive. Give yourself more time before reacting to inflammatory situations. If someone is rude to you, don't immediately respond in kind or display contempt. Take three deep breaths before you choose to act. You need to build more space between impulse and action. By definition, when you are less reactive, you become more resilient.’

I rarely react on impulse, I wait, contemplate, plan, wait, breathe, wait, actually this is usually called procrastinate. But it has worked for me. At work I never rush to do anything and in the end the request gets canceled anyway, how many times has that happened. I rarely stress out, I am no drama queen, things can get done and problems can be solved if you take them a step at a time. Never look at the big picture, it is too scary, look at the next steps, then do them one after another. Coworkers and friends always say that they have never seen me lose my temper… what is there to get excited about at work? A stupid remark? Nothing surprises me anymore. I have worked with so many different types of bosses, the tyrant, sexist type when I was young and na├»ve and did not get it. The very vocally expressive f-word using VP of Sales (already got used to that see boss #1), the quiet weird engineer genius who did not know how to turn on his monitor (my favorite one) and now the guys here who are so into their meetings they barely notice me (hey I could knit under my desk, he he). I am very, very, very patient, so much that the Mister can’t stand it. I am quiet, introvert, love to be alone and do my thing. My parents were so worried about me, when I used to spend hours, even days in my room, (hey I was reading, drawing, writing in my diary, I was keeping busy in a way) that one day my dad started a very casual conversation (we did not see each other that much due to his work schedule – I am sure my mom put him up to it), which was so unusual for him, and he was dodging around the subject until he finally asked me point blank if I were doing drugs. What!? I have never even seen let alone touched any drugs to this day. (yes I smoked cigarettes). The quiet ME upset my parents so much that they were afraid I was doped.

But I am resilient. There is not much that can upset me. I have been through some tough times and made it through them somehow, probably more in a trance than in a calculated deliberate way. So, the lethargic, quiet, inactive, lazy ME has its advantage too.

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